I've thought about you, remembering that one time when I was 23 and wrote to you. I’ve longed to share with you my very important, inquisitive and insightful thoughts, feelings and hopes. I considered posting many times over the past, ya know, 5 or so years. I guess I just never got around to it....
If we are being honest though, I can most certainly project that there is a greater reason why I abandoned you for so long. But, I a cannot dive into that psychological whirlwind right now. In fact, I probably only have a few more minutes of uninterrupted time. So let's recap my life over the past 5 years. Bullet points seem appropriate:
- moved back to Milwaukee
- got engaged
- bought a house
- got married
- got pregnant
- BABY
- started career
- got pregnant
- paused career
- BABY
- started career
- paused career
So, I guess, I've been busy. Busy being married and having children, jobs, careers and a home. I have been waiting for the perpetual mountain climbing to come to a plateau. At least for a while. I am realizing now that the plateaus in my life are short, so I should probably take the chance while I have it.
So here I am. I am (as of this week) in a new season of full-time stay-at-home momdom. And so far so good! Right?! That's what all the people in blogland want to hear? Of course, it's good! I get to be with my kids. I love my kids. These are incredible humans that God has gifted me the privilege to raise up. However, as I prepared myself for this time, I was anxious. As it turns out, this is not my first season of being home. I have some experience. And although I enjoy being home immensely, it is a slippery slope. And of course, I was reminded of this as I coincidentally stumbled across mommy blog, after mommy blog of the challenges of motherhood.
So let’s just put this out there…. This is NOT a post about motherhood, because we all know being a mom is a hard job. In fact, it's the most difficult: that and being president. So let's just get that whole thing out of the way.
This, my long lost blog friend, is a reflection about work... work as worship. My current profession is full-time wife, mom, homemaker. And I take my job very seriously. God has given me this body to house my spirit. My spirit is His. He created it in His image, along with my body to worship Him in all things I do. My physical body is for my husband, to grow, birth and nurish my children, to serve in my home, my community. But this spirit, this spirit is made to worship God.
I got all hippy-dippy (as husband would say) on you, didn't I? And that's because I am! I am reflecting on the peaceful, harmonious creation of my being. My prayer, reflection and most of all, worship is internal as I meet with God continually throughout my day. He has me here; in this time, in this space and place to serve him through my family. This is my work.
But, ya know, I didn’t come up with this on my own or in my own efforts. It came to me while running. I began training for a half marathon as a distraction from the inevitable. Because, motherhood is like treading water.... that, or drowning. There are few times, if even that, that you feel as if you are getting ahead. You are in a constant state of productivity, because if you stop for even a moment, you fall behind. The loads of laundry, dishes and garbage pile up. If you don't bathe the kids tonight, they will go to grandma's dirty, will come home too late to take a bath tomorrow and will be stinky for church on Sunday. Or if I don't vacuum right, right this second, the kids will play with all the pillows on the floor and then the pillows will get dirty with dog hair and then I will have to do double the work to vacuum the carpet and the pillows.... you get it?! But, like I said, this is not about motherhood, so back to work as worship - I began the training to get away, even if it was for a short time. Instead God spoke (as He always seems to do) to me about work.
1 Colossians 3:23-24 - Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.
Running is hard, really stinkin hard! Let’s just say my 29 year old body isn’t the same as my 23 year old body. And good thing it’s hard work, because God shows up!
Give ear to my words, O LORD, consider my groaning. - Psalms 5:1
